When I realized how important it was to me to write my thoughts out, something that you often encouraged me to do, it was raining outside. Can you believe? Here, in Hollywood – rain for the next week. It served as an excellent background to the austerity and general morose feelings I have this time of year. It’s hard to believe that two years ago mom called so early in the morning to tell me that you had left us. In those two years, so much has changed in my life – primarily for the positive. So many things that I wanted to share with you, from the smallest to the largest. I can’t say that I have any faith – or believe that we will see each other again – but I want to let you know just how much of an impact you have had on my life. I am a photographer because of you, and your gift to me of a small Kodak camera, and an AE1. So many of the films you’ve shown me from the time I was a small to a teenager helped shape the man I am now – just as your life lessons have shaped me.
I wish terribly so to talk with you again, and would give almost anything to make that happen – but I accept, albeit sadly that this is an impossibility. I am happy you were my Dad. I am happy you were who you were.
I think as simple and stupid as that sounds, it sums up my feelings perfectly.
I think this is the last year that I mourn you. From now on, I’ll celebrate your birthday and memory- and do my hardest to now wallow in the pain that is today.
The rain lifted.